Two words. Less. Ego. 

I could give this response to someone who questions me during rush hours. It would not be far from the truth, but it lacks depth. One would need a collection of keys to unlock healthy relationships. Not a single one. Wait, I don’t mean to discourage you. We all have these keys available for us. 

Relationships start with blissful emotions. Excitement. Appreciation. Love. But how do we recognise a partnership that speaks our heart and supports our growth? 

Have a relationship vision.

Once an oracle said, the beginning of wisdom is: know thyself. So go ahead and understand your relationship vision. Dream of it, draw it, write about it, put post-its on your fridge but be warned: such knowledge means that your journey has commenced. Finally, after years of experiencing and experimenting with relationships, you get to know what you want. And you get to enjoy what you want. So speak to your partner, knowing yourself and your vision. Have a refining discussion, pour your souls into one another, understand each other needs, wants and desires. You can have the best intentions in the world, but you risk separating from yourself if you don’t know where you are heading. 

Do we look forward to a future in which we get excited? 

What do we say ‘yes’ to?

What rewards do we reap as we put our best selves into this relationship? 

Know your values. 

It may not be accessible without a third party or a relationship coach navigating this query, but it is not impossible. Start with a list of values, ask your partner their top three and share yours. Make sure you challenge each other by asking the hard questions.

How does this value serve you? 

Have you chosen these values, or are they conditions of the past?

What does it mean when we conflict? How can these values support us?

Now you learnt a hell about your partner – and yourself in relation.