What is the key to a healthy relationship? Part II.

Distant Couple

Be committed to growth.

If not only, communication is one of the most critical aspects of the relationship. Are you ready to support each other’s growth, deal with triggers as they arise, and create a safe space to have an emotional connection? Communication in conscious relationships is much more than saying ‘I love you.’ It is about welcoming vulnerabilities and allowing ourselves to be authentic.

Are you ready to have difficult and honest conversations instead of staying off the issues to avoid conflict? 

What is forming between you two as you share your day, share your problems and concerns? Do you both feel emotionally validated and seen? Or do you play the blame game? 

Intimacy, ‘into me I see’, is the experience of being close to one another, and it is the medicine to all our wounds. But it can only heal you if you stop closing your heart and stop running away. The only way forward is to open your heart deeper. You will soon realise a delicate balance as you hold the intimacy stick. One side of it points out that you fail looking after your needs and betray yourself to keep the relationship. Another side is that you become defensive or dismissive when your partner has a relational need and you create more distance and space. These experiences are the negative of closeness. 

Ask yourself, do you accept that two truths can exist simultaneously? That two people can be in the same time-space conundrum yet hold two pieces of the truth? 

Do you know how to create intimacy out of these details? Or will you reject your or your partner’s experience favouring the other? Intimacy will allow you to welcome all parts of you into the relationship to build your relational truth.

Embrace the notion of ‘death’.

Yes. The death of the relationship. Does it sound scary? Let me tell you why this is substantial in a healthy relationship. You don’t want your minions to say to you:
‘This needs to work, or else I mean nothing.’
‘I have got only one chance.’
‘My relationship or my partner defines my worth.’
These are all the voices of ego. Because your inner being knows, whatever happens, even if it is the most famous love story of your life that ends, you are worthy of love. You deserve the best of life at any moment in time. 

Take your relationship as a one week vacation at a time. If it goes well, you will go on it for another week. And if not, you know you can always come back home.

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