Are you fed up with the dating rules that tell you ‘don’t text, wait two days’? Well, maybe it’s time to smash this and other myths in dating.
Maybe you’ve been one of those people who always picked the wrong tool for the dating job. Maybe you never texted them first. You didn’t want to be too clingy. You didn’t want to look desperate.
How did that work out for you?
You started to hide your true self, and your awesome personality. You confused your own authenticity for ‘anxiety’. No, you don’t have to label yourself as ‘anxious’. You are someone who likes consistent communication. And that’s fine. There is no one-size-fits-all. Some people may be like you, some others may not. And your job is to find your tribe. Who says being a good communicator is a bad thing? It’s better than being a ghoster, a breadcrumber, or a zombie.
If you’ve been in the dating game long enough you probably heard this one too “act like you don’t care”. Oh, I heard this from a friend of mine, who got this advice from his buddies. It turned out that by acting like this he attracted more and more unhealthy matches. People who were not going to meet his needs. Because guess what, he does care. And he does want people who care about him, too! Look, if you like someone you gotta let them know. This is the only way to create relational safety and intimacy. Otherwise, you’ll end up playing mind games, sending mixed signals, or worse, getting friendzoned.
Oh, and the last myth I heard for a gazillion years. “You won’t have to work on your relationship with the right person”. No, you will have to. Even harder, sometimes. But the difference will be it will be worth it. You will grow. Both of you. And your connection will become more thrilling. So please, do yourself a favor now and stop pushing good people away, because you both have some work to do. Know the difference between good work and bad work. Hint: good work involves communication, growth, and cuddles. Bad work involves blaming, judgement, and sulking.
And that’s it for today’s myth-busting session. I hope you learned something new and useful from this blog post. Remember, dating is not a game of rules and tricks. It’s a journey of discovery and connection. So don’t let these myths stop you from finding your true match. Be yourself, be honest, and be open. And most importantly, have fun!